I hate HIV! There, I said it.

HIV has frightened me my entire adult life. I know it’s out there just waiting for me to slip and make a mistake. People I have known have gotten infected and a small handful of them have even died… well, of course none of them have died from HIV because that is not the way the infection works. HIV is not a killer, but it IS the greatest disease-enabler of them all. With HIV your body is open to any infection possible and how that used to work resulted in the death of everybody who had the infection.

Death was certain.

Medications was invented! It took many trials and errors to find the right combination of poison to sustain the infected. I call it poison judged from the apparent liquid shit storm which a human being’s daily excavation of waste is turned into. Constant diarrhea kills more people world wide than HIV does, but being “healthy” and having diarrhea apparently seemed like the better alternative.

Death was uncertain.

People survive with gaunt features and bellies big and taut. Steroids saves the body in a way by increasing muscle mass but it does not save the face of the infected. Gift givers and bug chasers are born. Bare back sex is now a thing. The death of the future becomes the party of today. Why only use poison for treatment? Why not use poison for recreation? Why not embrace the culture of the infected. Why not dance and fuck the night away? Everyone dies but I alone decide how I live!

Death is for some other time.

Radioactive tattoos tells a story if you know what to listen for. Men are now PREPared for the life they want to live. We take poison to look strong. We take poison to avoid infection. We take poison to dance until sunrise. We take poison to stay hard. What should have been a culture free of decease and full of love becomes a culture full of sex and and unsung emotions. The beat is hard all through the night. The cocks stay erect all through the night. We never talk about love.

Death is so far removed even life seems out of sight.

When do gay men start talking about how it affects us as a group to have the threat of death and disfiguration hiding under our beds?


3 thoughts on “I hate HIV! There, I said it.

  1. Excellent post. I find myself worrying about HIV as well. It’s such a scary pathogen considering the damage it can do. I actually did a research paper on it last semester in a gay course I took in college. Glad I found you!

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